wounded

(copied from "a place for dance in the church" on the Ted Dekker forum)

I knew that what happened with the church dance team I was part of a few years ago had hurt.
But the recent dance threads and dance-praying I have been doing have made me realize that what I thought was a stage I wound is really a stage V. The scab came off the top, now I'm bleeding all over the place and I don't even know how deep the undermining of this wound goes.

I'm not sure if that was overly personal to post in here but I really feel at a loss. I'm so thankful to have this gift of dance just between me and God. But the deeper I go in that, the more painful the longing to use this gift within the body of Christ becomes.

And how does one do that when one isn't even a part of the institutional church?

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Am I just emotionally overwrought right now? Why does this hurt so much?

Abba?

Wonderous grace, unfathomable mystery

Through each day the LORD pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing his songs, praying to God who gives me life. Psalm 42:8


As the deer pants for water, so my soul longs after you.
Tengo sed, Senor.
Only you satisfy.

Waiting

It is one thing to go without food and water
Another to go without sleep
but to go without either, Lord, how?
How can you be strong in such weakness?


I am willing, do as You will.