JC

Every year I think there is more hope and less pain. :)

A note to my baby sis: I love you and I am still looking forward to dancing with you one day.

Missing you,
Leanna

wounded

(copied from "a place for dance in the church" on the Ted Dekker forum)

I knew that what happened with the church dance team I was part of a few years ago had hurt.
But the recent dance threads and dance-praying I have been doing have made me realize that what I thought was a stage I wound is really a stage V. The scab came off the top, now I'm bleeding all over the place and I don't even know how deep the undermining of this wound goes.

I'm not sure if that was overly personal to post in here but I really feel at a loss. I'm so thankful to have this gift of dance just between me and God. But the deeper I go in that, the more painful the longing to use this gift within the body of Christ becomes.

And how does one do that when one isn't even a part of the institutional church?

-------

Am I just emotionally overwrought right now? Why does this hurt so much?

Abba?

4 years...

The pain never really leaves. Thank God for His mercy.

I am not as broken this November 26th as I have been in the past. Maybe because I mourned more earlier in the year.

The hope is still here and the longing and the joy too.

Thank you, Abba, again for the precious life of my baby sister and the chance to know her if only before birth.

I will be coming home.
Maranatha!