Project Daybreak

Whoever thought getting up to watch the sunrise was a good idea anyway???

I’m gonna die.

Those were my two thoughts climbing up the hill this morning. My back hurt, my lungs hurt, I had a stitch in my side, my pulse was pounding in my ears and I was positive that I would not make it for sunrise. I had completely underestimated the time it would take to go from the parking lot at the bottom of the hill to the peak. The sky to my left through the trees was a vibrant orange before I was halfway and the light grew with every step.

Just one more curve, I told myself, but the road’s spiral never ended.

Then, finally, it did. I had reached the parking lot at the top of the hill (which doesn’t open until noon) and was barely a minute away from the peak. The sun has probably risen. I should just go sit on a bench and catch my breath, I thought. I don't even care anymore. :P

But my legs had passed that initial point of utter collapse a curve ago and now they just kept walking of their own volition. Up the final steep set of rocks I climbed and found what we mortals like to call Heaven.

Man alive. How do you even describe the beauty of it?

The clouds above whirled with red and blue. The streak clouds just above the vibrantly orange sea held a mix of yellow and pink. Moutain peaks on the right, snow dusted, rose out of mist and seemed nearly imaginary. The darkness of the city’s trees combined with the gold specks of streetlights made it look like the starry sky had fallen to earth.

Then came the sun!




I had NOT missed that moment of sunrise. Ooo la la! I even had time to pull out my laptop and start writing this blog as I watched a flame-like pinprick of orange in the layers of clouds grow and rise until I couldn’t look at it for the brightness, its reflection in the ocean twice the size of itself.

Now, the sun has moved up into the clouds above but the subdued radiance lingers in soft pastels. The wind teases at my face and fingers. The birds glory in the new day.

I think I remember why someone would want to get up and hike a hill to watch the sunrise. ☺

Thank You, Abba. Your artistry this morning gave a feast to the eyes and the soul. I love You!

From Sea to Sea

Erev Tov!

I am blogging from a balcony above the Sea of Galilee. The night is just the kind of cozy warm that makes you want to sleep under the stars. NO mosquitoes around just crickets somewhere making their symphony.

So I slept straight through from midnight to quarter after ten this morning, a great start to the trip especially since tomorrow's wake up call is 6:30am! Anyhoo, Lannette and I pulled ourselves out of bed and bused down to meet friends at Beit Immanuel. (except for getting my foot stuck in the bus door, it was an uneventful trip) Beit Immanuel has a refreshing homey feel just in the front lobby where we met Corinne. I am definitely looking forward to staying there next week!

We went for Shwarmas (sp???) which is a kind of pita wrap that is REALLY good (AND they had ketchup!) :D Then to Dr. Lek's for some of the best ice cream ever, no lie, I don't care if Italy is famous for Gelato. :) I had a scoop of mango, mmmmmm!

We stopped for a quick dip of the toes in the Mediterranean (so lovely and incredibly warm, almost too warm to be refreshing... can't wait to actually go swimming). Then we headed back to the buses and spent the rest of the day getting to Tiberius on the Sea of Galilee where we were received an enthusiastic welcome from the tour group and Lannette's parents and feasted on the hotel provided buffet.

Tomorrow we will worship on the Sea of Galilee and we do the Jerusalem March in the afternoon. Please pray for peace. :)

Shalom!
Leanna

PS> During our long bus ride, we drove past this valley mentioned somewhere in the Bible, I will have to ask Lannette to remind of what she said again. Anyhoo it triggered a sort of story scene in my head that I will have to blog here. :) L'Chaim!

Where now the horse and the rider?

"Where now the horse and the rider? where is the horn that was blowing?
Where is the helm and the hauberk and the bright hair flowing?
Where is the hand on the harp-string, and the red fire glowing?
Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing?
They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow;
The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow.
Who shall gather the smoke of the dead wood burning?
Or behold the flowing years from the Sea returning?"
(Tolkien, Two Towers)

Where, O Lord, is Your church? Why do I gather alone?
I am still wrestling with this, Abba.
You asked me if I had asked others to gather.
This time I did.
I stepped out, Lord.

And one person did come.

But I am still wondering, Abba.
Where is Your church?

Here I am.
What would you have me do?

Time to go back to bed

Man alive, I should have stayed in bed this morning.

But the extra 6 inches of snow and fierce wind did not dissuade me from going to work. And even though I still haven't really slept in the last week, I felt really energized and rather ridiculously happy on shift today. :)

I was on top of things but then it started to get crazy. In the midst of trying to help the other nurses keep on track with their assignments, I lost track of my own and there was way more than I would have liked left undone at shift change (although nothing dire).

I won't go into all the crazy details but following a stressful shift change, I was in a scary (but zero injuries) car accident, my cell phone died at the police station (with my family all out of the province so I couldn't call them on their phone) and when I finally made it back home, there was a sign saying "No water, maybe back on this evening".

It definitely crossed the line to where I laughed more than I cried. It was just so comically tragic. :D

The water has finally come back on (at least in spurts, hopefully the toilet will be flushable soon). And the insurance company will call me back tomorrow morning. I'm praying that will go well. And thanking God for the little miracles that keep me smiling. :) He really is good.

I am so glad that it is time to crawl back under the covers. And I'm turning my alarm off. ;)

Collecting Tears

I cared for my first apprehended baby today in the nursery, sang her "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" to quiet her after the Hepatitis B shot.

Man alive. :(

Abba,
Thank you for precious little "L". Thank you that you have a forever family for her and that you love her like crazy. I pray that she would know your love from infancy. I pray that you would give the foster family compassion and wisdom. I pray that you would cover and protect her. May she and her family praise you for the miracles you have done.
In the name of Yeshua, I ask.
Amen.

Whom do you seek?

anticipation

Abba, help me not to hide from you.

Thank you for forgiveness and mercy. And for calling me higher: "come, oh come, let us away! Lower and lower every day, always answering to the call to the lowest place of all". Paradoxes. :)

I ask for the courage to speak out what burns it my heart and to step forward.

No hiding.

"Find me here
And speak to me
I want to feel You
I need to hear You..."

Love you.

wounded

(copied from "a place for dance in the church" on the Ted Dekker forum)

I knew that what happened with the church dance team I was part of a few years ago had hurt.
But the recent dance threads and dance-praying I have been doing have made me realize that what I thought was a stage I wound is really a stage V. The scab came off the top, now I'm bleeding all over the place and I don't even know how deep the undermining of this wound goes.

I'm not sure if that was overly personal to post in here but I really feel at a loss. I'm so thankful to have this gift of dance just between me and God. But the deeper I go in that, the more painful the longing to use this gift within the body of Christ becomes.

And how does one do that when one isn't even a part of the institutional church?

-------

Am I just emotionally overwrought right now? Why does this hurt so much?

Abba?

Wonderous grace, unfathomable mystery

Through each day the LORD pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing his songs, praying to God who gives me life. Psalm 42:8


As the deer pants for water, so my soul longs after you.
Tengo sed, Senor.
Only you satisfy.

Waiting

It is one thing to go without food and water
Another to go without sleep
but to go without either, Lord, how?
How can you be strong in such weakness?


I am willing, do as You will.

Praise Him

Still don't know how to say what is happening.

Have you ever been broken by the reality of your own selfishness and self-centredness? Flinging yourself in hope on the feet of Jesus.
And then in the next song, have God tell you that certain events were for you? Because of His love and desire.
And somehow this does not put you back at the centre at all.
But the honor and humiliation of it is just overwhelming.

I've been there tonight.

What a mystery our Lord is, His ways and His thoughts. His love and faithfulness.
Oh my God, may I discover more and love you more.

"Praise the Lord, all you nations
Praise Him all you people of the earth
For He loves us with an unfailing love
The faithfulness of the Lord endures forever."
Psalm 117

Rejoice!

Confession

Ever feel like you have so much to say but when you pick up the pen or rest your fingers on the keyboard, nothing comes?

It is hard to capture a particular thought or emotion long enough to elaborate on it. But maybe elaborating isn't needed. Here are a few thoughts and emotions:

God loves me.

I love Him.

There is something dangerous happening in the spiritual realm right now.

Joy.

Wonder.

Fear.

Hope.

Confession is a necessary and painful part of growth. Something that isn't done very often but something that I think I need to do as part of this spiritual battle.

Abba, what would you have me say?

I confess that I have hidden behind a mask of spirituality. I hold myself to be a person of integrity and honest vulnerability but that isn't true. I have sought the esteem of my friends, Church and strangers first. Lord, forgive me for being deceitful. Even a single lie tarnishes the trust others have given.
I confess that I am afraid of this confession. That everything I have said and done will be judged by the confession. That the truth I have spoken or acted upon will be lost.
Abba, help me to seek You first. Always. I love you.

*cries*

The Church lives

What a wonder, to find myself surrounded by intercessors.

Thank you, Lord, for your mercy and healing. Thank you for the gift of tears. Thank you for taking Tim home.

I continue to ask for your grace to cover his family. Bring them nearer. Please, give my family right words or actions to show your love to them at this time.

In tearful wonder,
Leanna

Aparta mi vista de cosas vanas!
Dame vida conforme a tu palabra.
(Psalm 119)