SS - Sleeping City

from "Sleeping City" - Kutless

Rain on asphalt. Sun on glass.

The City doesn’t weather the weather, it enjoys it. Fragments of rainbows -appearing in the trod up dust and vanishing again- are the City’s version of a sleepy smile. The changing of days and seasons mingles with the changing of the City’s dreams. Cold is a caress and heat is a blanket. The City slumbers under both. When the sun is bright, the City turns its own lights low, and when the night comes, the City festoons itself with vibrant colour for the striking contrast of radiance against the black. Stars above are seldom seen but they twinkle in all of the City’s dreams.

Built by artists and entrepreneurs, the City now houses dissolute youths and embittered elders. The war between generations is quiet and cruel. But the City’s dreams are populated only by the simply and seriously merry. Working and dancing and eating are all a part of the endless games that the City dreams.

Once, thirty-nine years ago, the City awoke for a moment. A tremulous glistening electrified moment before sunrise. A child wandered away from the boardwalk to the statue at the end of the pier and pressing a warm small thumb to the large stone one said, “hello.”
But before the City could reply, the mother came running and snatched the child away. A maelstrom of fretting and fussing and kisses and warning. But the City fell back into sleep the moment the connection was broken and never knew.

The child grew up and moved away to be an artist somewhere else. And every third painting was of the slumbering City. The artist never knew why.

So the City sleeps in contentment, unaware of pollution or politics, feeling only the reverberations of nature. Buildings fall or decay or burn and others are built. Every summer the roads undergo noisy construction. Every winter snow is sullenly shovelled from one place to another to melt before the cherry trees blossom. Cacophony turns to harmony within the City’s dreams. Disaster turns to delight. Nothing in the waking world holds the power to disturb the City’s rest.

But sleep is not meant for forever.
Dreams cannot defeat time, they can only cheat it for a time.
Neither are cities immortal.
Will the City awake before it dies?

Rain on asphalt. Sun on glass.

A very old woman -too old to be doubtful of magic- sits at her window and wonders. She has grown to be simple and learned to be serious but if there was ever anything merry within her, there is nothing left now. Frigid rain and smothering sun bellow through the cracks and rainbows swirl in the dust. She lights a candle in the day and nothing at night. She hears the grumbles and the curses, different language from different ages but the same tone. She ponders. She waits. She hopes.

The day she falls asleep for the last time is the day the City stirs and startles and, finally, awakes.

2012 "Wishes"

Per tradition, in no particular order and with less preplanning than previous years, here are my wishes for the new year.  

1) Do the NICU clinical course

2) Finish a crossword puzzle

3) Visit Tofino

4) Join Twitter (maybe)

5) Attend the Calgary Stampede (this year is their centennial, way cool)

6) Undertake NaNoWriMo for my sixth year in a row (and ML for a third year)

7) Grow basil

8) Learn how to use Scrivener and use it for my writing projects

9) Set up group writing possibilities

10) Attend USANA's 25th annual convention in SLC

11) Attempt Script Frenzy again (and win!)

12) Organize a telemetry review day with co-workers

13) Help a friend do something especially awesome

14) Go house hunting (for kicks if not for serious)

15) Blog regularly with at least one scheduled post weekly

16) Go in the ocean at least 13 times

17) Buy a new pair of nursing shoes (for real, stop putting this off)

This list is shorter than previous year's since I am mostly making it up on the spot but I may let myself add to it as the year goes on.

Why Nursing?

Why Nursing?
Draft version 1.0

As child when I grew up I wanted to run an orphanage, write books or own a summer camp. In high school, I knew I most wanted to work with children and stories but I didn’t know how to make either interest work as a stable career.


I needed a job:
-working with people
-with the possibility of travel
-and reasonable starting income/job security (mostly for my parents’ sake, I tend to be more idealistic than pragmatic)


Based on these criteria, I applied into nursing straight out of high school.
And discovered I loved it.
(good thing because the degree was not cheap!)


Not only did it fit the criteria but it was satisfying in a variety of other ways.

Additional things to love about nursing:
-Helping people with the “little things” (e.g. the art of positioning pillows, scrubbing itchy backs, setting up at meals)
-Endless new things to learn (overwhelming at times but awesome)
-Being a networker in the healthcare team (communicating back and forth with PT, OT, Physicians, Nutritionists, Lab Personnel, Pharmacists, and more)
-Opportunities to work with a variety of populations and in different specializations (e.g. elderly, newborns, medicine, surgery, palliative, community, etc.)
-More chocolate in a single Christmas time shift than can be accrued trick or treating


Not that everything about being a nurse is lovely (cough-night shifts-cough) but this post is why nursing not why not nursing. ☺

2011 "Wishes"

As per tradition...

1) Write a first draft of a story outside of NaNoWriMo

2) EPIC road trip!

3) At least 2 nursing courses

4) Memorize something especially lovely on the piano

5) Play a song on the guitar

6) Set aside a Spanish only day with JoBro

7) Choreograph 3 dances (any style)

8) Go camping

9) Read through a BBC book list

10) Hopskotch

11) Blog 10 "whys"

12) Read the Gospels every month

13) Arrange monthly night out or in for parents

14) Fill my current journal

15) Add to savings account monthly

16) Have an organized bedroom

17) Figure out cooking schedule

18) Take a dance class (at least one!)

19) Memorize "thank you" in at least 4 more languages

20) Get a student discounted swim pass and use it

21) Visit somewhere new on the Island

22) Have a karaoke night with the Spensts/Ragans

23) Keep memorizing Psalm 119

24) Make a yummy green drink

25) Laser tag

26) Personalized USANA webpage

27) Meet Grandma Miles

28) Spray a fire extinguisher

29) Do an "author" photo shoot with Pure Emotion Photography

30) Have a tea party or other event with mailed invitations

31) Go on a blind date

32) Buy new nursing shoes

33) Volunteer at camp

34) Have an organized bathroom

35) Write to my sponsored child

36) Blueberry picking hike again!

37) Arrange the 2011 family Christmas photo

38) ML for NaNoWriMo again!

39) Visit the local aquarium

40) Organize the family bookshelves to Mom's satisfaction without letting her give away any more books :)

41) IV starts!

42) Shabbat with the Byes

43) Plan either Uganda trip or KoS Summer Olympics trip (or BOTH)

44) Get a totally different haircut (preferably from Liz-Phoenix)

45) Be in the Land of the Living Skies (if only while passing through)

46) Watch season 4 of Alias

47) Write true stories of other people

48) Listen ;)

... and much much more!

I Will Rise

-May song story from Chris Tomlin's "I Will Rise"-





When I step through the veil, everything changes.


The incessant buzzing stops so suddenly, the silence is like music. I take a slow breath and the air tastes free. I want to open my eyes but then the anticipation will be over. I wait.


Softly, music does begin. An oboe beckons with a sound at once so far away that I take another step forward and yet so close that my spine tingles up to my ears. How can it be both at once? I don’t know.


Other instruments join, drums, piano, guitar. If I focus, I can hear the individual melodies in the harmony. Each tells a different story. All entwine into an epic so strange and familiar and romantic, I start to laugh.


A breeze, scented with lilac and cinnamon, swirls and spins around me. It teases my face. The grass tickles my toes.


Do I dare step in further? Do I open my eyes?


A low rumble moves through the music. The light against my eyelids remains as bright as ever but now gentle raindrops fall. The wind catches the rain and tosses it about so it falls up as well as down.


Already dizzy with laughter, I spin in the rain.


I don’t know how or when it happens but the ground disappears from beneath me. I am rising, flying.


It is nothing like swimming or falling or floating or anything else I ever imagined flying might be. I’m dancing and the centre of gravity has changed. I am not drawn up or down, I am drawn further in.


The rain ebbs. My feet touch down on warm mossy rock. Mixed in with the music, I hear the laughter and murmuring of other people but the place where I wait belongs only to me and one other.


When I open my eyes, my heart knows whom I will finally see.

And now for 2010!

1. Finish Ùghdair!
EDIT: (second draft check if you overlook the missing chapters...)

2. Find a position before my temporary full time line ends
EDIT: Check!

3. Take 2 or more roadtrips
EDIT: Check!

4. Go to bellydancing lesson with Vilma
EDIT: Check!

5. Blog weekly
EDIT: not check...

6. Take a nursing or writing course
EDIT: Check!

7. Go through the new e-bds online
EDIT: Check!

8. Write 4k (or edit 5 chapters) biweekly
EDIT: Write 5k/month, write EVERY day in one form or another

9. Get contacts or laser eye surgery
EDIT: Check for contacts!

10. Go for massage therapy (especially while benefits covers it!)
EDIT: Check but only twice

11. Have an LAJ memory party with Christa and Karine
EDIT: Check

12. Write a screenplay for a musical passion play (?with assistance)
EDIT: Barely started...

13. Practise guitar at least weekly
EDIT: Not check

14. Sunrise at Cattle Point
EDIT: If I can change that to a certain mountain then check!

15. Finish Newbery Medal list of books
EDIT: Check

16. Write a letter/email re: a political issue
EDIT: Not check

17. Buy pattern scrubs
EDIT: Nope, bought plain coloured ones

18. Continue memorizing Psalm 119
EDIT: Check

19. Do a monthly writing exercise
EDIT: Check! :D

20. Watch a documentary or two
EDIT: don't think so

21. Make a home video from old clips
EDIT: Check

22. Learn to sing Jesus Loves Me in Chinese
EDIT: not check

23. Bake blackberry pie
EDIT: Did blueberry pie!

24. Washington/SLC road trip
EDIT: Check but not exactly as expected

25. Write true stories of other people
EDIT: Not check, definitely going on the new year list

26. Reconvene the MICDB and initiate new members
EDIT: Fail

27. Compete in ballroom dancing
EDIT: Not check

28. Skip rope
EDIT: Check but not much

29. Go house hunting
EDIT: Check

30. Have a tea party with mailed invitations
EDIT: not check

31. Grow something green
EDIT: not check

32. Read books on writing
EDIT: Check!

33. Pick blueberries at a U-Pick
EDIT: Nope, went up a mountain instead, which is better!

34. Help Daddy with house church

35. Join a young adult group
EDIT: Check!

36. Volunteer
EDIT: Check! Reminds me I need to send an email.

37. Find a writing conference to go to
EDIT: Nope, not yet

38. Listen more for God's silence

And we're off!

2009 Tally

1.Move to B.C.
CHECK. End of April, 2009

2. Graduate as an RN
CHECK. End of April, 2009, exam written and passed June 3rd, 2009

3. Do 100+ newborn baths
☹ Not working in postpartum since final practicum, probably did somewhere between 12-20 while I was there

4. Buy a guitar
Nope. I think this will need to be a prize for learning a song on the guitar or something.

5. Read more Newbery Medal books
CHECK. Many many more, not sure the exact number.

6. Write a letter every week
Nope. I don’t think so but I did do more letter writing than last year so I will keep at it.

7. Participate/Encourage/Witness the accomplishment of BIG goals for Teh Project
Nope. The Project is in stasis as the writing goes but I am still part of it and look forward to seeing it finish.

8. Complete 2nd draft of my wip by April 1st
… ☹

9. Get professional feedback for my novel
See above…

10. Submit my novel for publishing
See above above…

11. Help backstage @ ___
CHECK. Was totally fun and I have a new BIG dream related to this. ☺

12. Take a roadtrip with S.T.
CHECK. Completed end of April, 2009 and it was sweet awesome!

13. Go to the Gathering in Nashville
CHECK. Wow, what a weekend. :D

14. Kiss Elijah
CHECK. Smooched him on the cheek and he didn’t make strange or cry. His mom was quite impressed. ☺

15. Worship dance with Joy
Nope, but I did get to meet her and spend time with her so next time!

16. Teach Katie and Nikki to play Dutch Blitz
Nope, but their parents already know the game.

17. Spend another sunrise at C___ Point
Nope, it is ridiculous that I did not make the time to do this. :P

18. Hang glide
Nope, this one is still on the bucket list. Found a good teacher to do it with though, I think.

19. Jump off a cliff with my sister, Janessa (or something else adventurous that she would like to do)
CHECK. I think our Europe trip counts as adventurous even if there wasn’t any cliff jumping. (scaled and jumped off a waterfall ledge in Israel)

20. Finally finish memorizing Psalm 119
Nope, but I found a website with it in HEBREW. :D

21. Make flossing a regular habit
CHECK. I’ve done it nearly every day for the last two and a half months, we’ll see if it sticks.

22. Learn to sing "Jesus Loves Me" in Mandarin Chinese (and other languages)
Nope, but I have a recording of it in THAI. Can’t actually sing along with it yet but I have put it on a CD for my car.

23. Read books out loud with my sister, Hannah
CHECK. Dragonrider and the Tower of Geburah. ☺ Working on Gaal the Conqueror right now.

24. Create a really cool Age of Empires campaign with my brother, Andrew
CHECK. Not finished but I think it is really cool. ;)

25. Watch the 6th Harry Potter with Christa & Julianna and treat them to a fancy dessert
Nope, unfortunately Christa was on an entirely different continent and Julianna in a different province but we watched the movie on the same day.

26. Find something weird/new to cook with every month
Not sure if this is a check or not, I didn’t follow up with it very well. I did have fun experimenting with different things though.

27. Eat more avocado
CHECK. Mmmmmm!

28. Take yoga and belly dancing classes
CHECK/not check. I took a hot yoga class but haven’t gotten out to belly dancing yet.

29. Go fishing (and learn to clean fish)
Nope, need Joy to take me. ☺

30. Visit Lass and cook a fantabulous meal with her
SO CLOSE but schedule didn’t mesh, still working on this one.

31. Spin hug with Phoenix, my cyber-sis
Not in the same geographical vicinity… :’( Only cyber hugs exchanged

32. Cross the Alberta/Saskatchewan border
Lol, I can’t believe I STILL haven’t done this!

33. Swing dance
Mmmm, not actually unfortunately.

34. Teach Deanna more Rhumba steps (teach ballroom dancing to anyone who wants to learn)
CHECK. But barnacle covered rocks don’t make good dance floors…

35. Worship with Lannette and dance in the streets
CHECK. Thank You, Abba!

36. Walk in the land of Israel
CHECK. Baruch HaShem!

34. Worship at IHOP in Jerusalem
CHECK. On my bday. ☺

35. Write a letter to a politician regarding an issue that is important to me
Bother, I forgot about this one. Definitely need to put it back on the list!

36. Learn and memorize a new song on the piano
Oooo, I have not memorized any of them yet.

37. Take guitar lessons (learn to play at least 3 more songs)
Uh, yeah this one is not a check.

38. Wear fuzzy socks more often
CHECK. And another pair in my Christmas stocking with turtles on them!

39. Learn & sing a duet with my sister, Micayla
Not a check. Sing with her all the time but we need to learn an actual duet.

40. Breakdance with my brother, Peter
Not much. Trying to plan a snowboarding trip though

41. Volunteer at a Pregnancy Counselling Centre
No, I have found an organization in the area that I am interested in volunteering with but I think I will need to find a part time position before I have the time to do the weeks of orientation

42. Volunteer at the CAUSE run in Canmore
Nope, forgot about this one.

43. Pray more frequently for leaders in government
Not sure how to measure this one…

44. Scheme something EPIC with my brother, Josh
Still need to do this too… Hmmmm…

45. Paint toenails with Vilma and laugh lots! (link also with #28)
CHECK. With her assistance, my ten toes are five different colours right now. Need to go belly dancing together still though

46. Finish my crazy story project for my co-workers from the summer
I’m afraid I abandoned this project.

47. Write the true stories of other people
Nope, need to put it back on the list.

48. Write another 50k+ novel in the month of November
CHECK. Aw yeah! …need to write The End still for Mesiebed though.

49. Hike Mt. Baker with the Ragans
Nope, still working on this one.

50. Go to the USANA celebration in Calgary
CHECK. Fun and informative. :D

51. Help host a Health & Freedom or Sense event every month
Nope, … one Sense Spa party…

52. Swim frequently
Mm, I don’t think this one is a check. I barely swam at all in the summer. All the swimming in Israel though was INCREDIBLE. Oh, I love water! :D

53. Spend lots of time outside
Hm, again I don’t think this one is a check. Good thing I am taking oral vitD!

54. Finish a project in my craft box
…

55. Buy "my Baby" from Mom & Dad, register in my name
Plans changed with this one. I will be leasing a car instead, no name yet.

56. Have at least one tea party with fancy mailed invitations
:O I forgot about this! Definitely goes back on the list.

57. Have an organized clean room before I pack it all up and move away
Mmmm… this is debateable. I did get rid of SO much clutter! Getting better at keeping clean too.

58. Snowboard more than once or twice
Once.

59. Get rid of clutter, give it away
CHECK! See 57, felt really really good.

60. Build a sand bear (or try valiantly)
CHECK times 6 with the help of Moshe. Epic. October, 2009

61. Buy a cell phone and get in on this texting action
(EDIT: Officially CHECKED off January 10th, 2009)

62. Read Boneman's Daughters, Kiss, Lunatic and Elyon
CHECK. Also the ARC of Burn and the final Circle Series: Green which were AMAZING.

63. Swim to the island at T____ Lake
I forget… I was only at the lake a few times, I don’t remember if I went to the island or not.

64. Perform a skit with my siblings
Nope.

65. Pay off at least 1/4 of my debt to the bank of Mom & Dad (stay out of all other debt)
Nope/CHECK. Won’t be out of debt to my parents that quickly but I have started paying back and no other debt.

66. Attend Top Hat & Tails
CHECK. Lovely as always.

67. Remember to check the oil in the car
What? Cars have oil that needs checking?

68. Dance in B_____ park
Nope, should have joined in with the group of people Israeli dancing that I saw when I was sharing a milkshake with a friend!

69. Spend more time interacting on the Circle than lurking
Hmmm… Did better with this earlier in the year. Back to lurking mode.

70. Walk from ___ Avenue to _____
Lol, nope…

71. Visit Alyssa in Jasper
Nope, need to see that girl again though!

72. Encourage my co-workers
CHECK. I had one comment along those lines so I’m checking it. ☺

73. Complete an intrapartum care course
Nope, need a sponser…

74. Write my nursing mission statement
Nope, forgot about this. I have a start somewhere I should look up.

75. Watch the 2nd season of Alias
CHECK. (and the third…)

76. Dunk in the Jordan river (if possible)
CHECK! Baptized for the third time but each time has special significance. ☺ If the website starts working again, I will link video.

77. Volunteer at Beit Immanuel
Nope, stayed overnight though and that was good

78. Listen more for God's silence
CHECK. I hope to do this even more next year too.

79. Skip rope
Nope, should buy myself one.

80. Colour with sidewalk chalk (create pictograph bible stories and play lots of hopskotch)
Nope

81. Blow bubbles on the breakwall
Not together. I did blow lots of bubbles and I did walk on the breakwall but I didn’t have my bubbles with me.

82. Teach Caspian to play fetch
CHECK sometimes. Depends on the mood he is in

83. Watch the 1st Indiana Jones movie
Nope.

84. Play lots of soccer (and buy more soccerballs for children in other places)
Nope/CHECK. I did buy more soccer balls from the CHF catalogue but I didn’t play much soccer.

85. Do the RESET cleanse
(EDIT: Officially checked off the week of February 5-9th)

86. Meet Collette Larsen
Spent a week in relatively close confines with her but didn’t actually meet her.

87. Find opportunities to babysit for free
CHECK. Once. ☺

88. Sponsor a child
CHECK. Isatu from Sierra Leone!

89. Wash feet
Nope.

90. Pick blackberries and bake blackberry pie
Nope. Ate every blackberry that I picked.

91. Do secret gifts for the moderators and TD administrator again.
CHECK. June, 2009.

92. Check off every item of this list by 2359 hours on December 31st, 2009
Unfortunately, this one is not a check. Still cool to look back and see.

And now for 2010!

92 Wishes

1. Move to B.C.

2. Graduate as an RN

3. Do 100+ newborn baths

4. Buy a guitar

5. Read more Newbery Medal books

6. Write a letter every week

7. Participate/Encourage/Witness the accomplishment of BIG goals for Teh Project

8. Complete 2nd draft of my wip by April 1st

9. Get professional feedback for my novel

10. Submit my novel for publishing

11. Help backstage @ ___

12. Take a roadtrip with S.T.

13. Go to the Gathering in Nashville

14. Kiss Elijah

15. Worship dance with Joy

16. Teach Katie and Nikki to play Dutch Blitz

17. Spend another sunrise at C___ Point

18. Hang glide

19. Jump off a cliff with my sister, Janessa (or something else adventurous that she would like to do)

20. Finally finish memorizing Psalm 119

21. Make flossing a regular habit

22. Learn to sing "Jesus Loves Me" in Mandarin Chinese (and other languages)

23. Read books out loud with my sister, Hannah

24. Create a really cool Age of Empires campaign with my brother, Andrew

25. Watch the 6th Harry Potter with Christa & Julianna and treat them to a fancy dessert

26. Find something weird/new to cook with every month

27. Eat more avocado

28. Take yoga and belly dancing classes

29. Go fishing (and learn to clean fish)

30. Visit Lass and cook a fantabulous meal with her

31. Spin hug with Phoenix, my cyber-sis

32. Cross the Alberta/Saskatchewan border

33. Swing dance

34. Teach Deanna more Rhumba steps (teach ballroom dancing to anyone who wants to learn)

35. Worship with Lannette and dance in the streets

36. Walk in the land of Israel

34. Worship at IHOP in Jerusalem

35. Write a letter to a politician regarding an issue that is important to me

36. Learn and memorize a new song on the piano

37. Take guitar lessons (learn to play at least 3 more songs)

38. Wear fuzzy socks more often

39. Learn & sing a duet with my sister, Micayla

40. Breakdance with my brother, Peter

41. Volunteer at a Pregnancy Counselling Centre

42. Volunteer at the CAUSE run in Canmore

43. Pray more frequently for leaders in government

44. Scheme something EPIC with my brother, Josh

45. Paint toenails with Vilma and laugh lots! (link also with #28)

46. Finish my crazy story project for my co-workers from the summer

47. Write the true stories of other people

48. Write another 50k+ novel in the month of November

49. Hike Mt. Baker with the Ragans

50. Go to the USANA celebration in Calgary

51. Help host a Health & Freedom or Sense event every month

52. Swim frequently

53. Spend lots of time outside

54. Finish a project in my craft box

55. Buy "my Baby" from Mom & Dad, register in my name

56. Have at least one tea party with fancy mailed invitations

57. Have an organized clean room before I pack it all up and move away

58. Snowboard more than once or twice

59. Get rid of clutter, give it away

60. Build a sand bear (or try valiantly)

61. Buy a cell phone and get in on this texting action
(EDIT: Officially CHECKED off January 10th, 2009)

62. Read Boneman's Daughters, Kiss, Lunatic and Elyon

63. Swim to the island at T____ Lake

64. Perform a skit with my siblings

65. Pay off at least 1/4 of my debt to the bank of Mom & Dad (stay out of all other debt)

66. Attend Top Hat & Tails

67. Remember to check the oil in the car

68. Dance in B_____ park

69. Spend more time interacting on the Circle than lurking

70. Walk from ___ Avenue to _____

71. Visit Alyssa in Jasper

72. Encourage my co-workers

73. Complete an intrapartum care course

74. Write my nursing mission statement

75. Watch the 2nd season of Alias

76. Dunk in the Jordan river (if possible)

77. Volunteer at Beit Immanuel

78. Listen more for God's silence

79. Skip rope

80. Colour with sidewalk chalk (create pictograph bible stories and play lots of hopskotch)

81. Blow bubbles on the breakwall

82. Teach Caspian to play fetch

83. Watch the 1st Indiana Jones movie

84. Play lots of soccer (and buy more soccerballs for children in other places)

85. Do the RESET cleanse
(EDIT: Officially checked off the week of February 5-9th)

86. Meet Collette Larsen

87. Find opportunities to babysit for free

88. Sponsor a child

89. Wash feet

90. Pick blackberries and bake blackberry pie

91. *secret*

92. Check off every item of this list by 2359 hours on December 31st, 2009